Another party, more food, more weight. Just weighted myself and somehow got to 62.2kg. I swear, If I'm not at the max 60.5kg tomorrow morning (Hopefully with the weight being water weight and not more fat on my fat) then there is no way I'm even going to go to that seafood buffet with my family. Not that I intended on eating much anyway, but if I'm not 60.5kg by then, I'm staying at home to exercise and run circles around my lounge. Anything.
I had a thought last night as I was in the car with A and J. I apologize in advance if this isn't your fault.
There's no such thing as 'recovery'. To 'fix' a non-physical problem is impossible. To try to get rid of a problem is ridiculous, because problems all lie in your head and you can't fix your head. All these medical 'treatments' and psychologists are wasting their time trying to bury a problem away just because society has a problem with it - they try to bury an unfixable problem and hope that it never resurfaces.
You know what 'recovery' should be? Learning to live with your problems.
I have issues, I know. I'm depressed, I'm psychotic, I have EDNOS, I'm fragile, I'm paranoid and anxious, I hallucinate, I have manic attacks, I'm suicidal - but I don't mind. It hurts, it's dangerous but that's just who I am and how I am. I've learnt to live with it and they should too - don't try to tell me I can't be an absolute fuck up because I am one. Don't fucking try to tell me who I can or cannot be, who I should or should not be. I don't fucking need help, or a cure, some analysis or some bloody emotionally numbing drugs - I don't fucking need no professional.
I am my own recovery.
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