Lying in bed- thinking?

I was doing my usual examination of my body today and I realized that just under my breast, where my bra ends, my rib bone sticks out oddly. Not because I'm thin for something but as though it's deformed. I really wish it wouldn't do that and that my rib cage would sit firmly flush - it makes me feel so friggin fat. As thought it wasn't bad enough that I tried those semi high waist floral shorts on at Glue today and made it so obvious to everyone in the store that I'm plain too fat for those shorts, now the structure of my stupid ribs is betraying me. Also, I remember back when I was dropping to 114 lbs in year 9 and my stomach was pretty enough (but not pretty enough. How fat is 114 lbs on a 15 year old, seriously! And those photos of me back then, my God I looked like one of those fat pirates in a wife beater. Disgusting.) I was able to stick my fingers almost to the second knuckle under my pelvic bone. Why can't I do that anymore?
Oh. Right. I'm fat.

Great.

Weight: Still atrociously fat.
Room: Messy, Boring and as Uncharacteristic as hell.
Energy levels: Low. I'm sleepy.

Going for my Herbalife weighing and measurement tomorrow. Hopefully things will improve and I'll be slightly less fat and undesirable. This is exactly why all A, J, A2 and T are being pursued (mostly by the men they actually like back) and I'm lying around in bed without someone to think about. I swear, please let me be at least 110 lbs by the time I go back to College. I want jaws to drop. I want M to hate the fact that he let me go.
I want people to realize that I'm not just a mate. I can be pretty too. Like that Girl. I can be just as pretty as that girl, smarter than her and more fun that her.
Please God. Please.